Proclamation of a non-meat-eater

This semester I was enrolled in a class entitled "Citizens, Consumers, and Corporations". It was a PoliSci class and was very interesting and thought provoking. The following is a paper I wrote for the class--I got to choose the topic and was limited to 6-8 pages. My topic? The meat industry in America, what else? So here it is, be forewarned that it's lengthy (at least for a blog post)...

In the same way that assembly lines revolutionized production during the Industrial Revolution, so has it revolutionized the meat industry in America. The romantic view of Old MacDonald and his farm, cows grazing the fields saying “moo” and the chickens roaming the farmyard is no longer commonplace in the food production industry. Dating back to the 1950’s meat processing and production firms have been consolidating and joining supply chains, leaving the large percentage of meat sources in the hands of just a few large corporations (Barkema, Drabenstott, & Novack, 2001). Transitioning from many individual farms that may have raised several different kinds of animals for slaughter, the meat industry now consists of a few large feedlots and “factory” farms (Kenner, 2008).

The animals, cows, chickens, and pigs, are slaughtered in large corporate meat packing plants, of which the top four processing firms own the majority market share. This manner in which meat is produced in America is unsustainable, unnatural, and is contributing negatively to the health of our society. When corporations took over the industry and turned raising animals into producing food in response to consumer demand, they chose efficiency over sustainability. Though corporations are not solely to blame for the state of the meat industry today, they have been the largest enabling factor on a very slippery slope. Different aspects to consider are the progression of industrialized food production over the last half century, the current condition of the meat industry, and sustainable alternatives to the corporate way.

First, it is important to understand the extent to which corporations have control over the meat industry in America. There are several layers to the some what complex system, but it can be broken down into three main categories: retailers, processors, and producers. Retailers are the firms with whom consumers interact with: grocery stores and multi-functional stores like Wal-Mart. According to an article in the Economic Review in 2001, a wave of grocery store consolidation in the 1990s resulted in the top four food retailers owning a 34% market share in 2000 (Barkema, Drabenstott, & Novack, 2001). This same concentration rate averaged in urban areas took up 72% of the food retail market share.

These retailers want to provide the cheap food that customers demand, while constantly increasing their profit margin. Similarly, the meat processing industry experienced a consolidation, beginning in the 1950’s. By 1999, the top four firms owned an 80% share in the beef sector (compared with a 25% share held by seven companies in 1970 (Kenner, 2008)), nearly 60% of the pork sector, and by 1997, more than 40% of the chicken sector (Barkema, Drabenstott, & Novack, 2001). Numbers of slaughterhouses have dramatically declined since the 1980s, making way for much larger operations.

Producers—the farmers and growers, have also made a transition over the last half century. Moving away from the rolling farmlands pictured on supermarket products, they have become mass production facilities (Kenner, 2008). They are responsible for meeting the demand of processors, retailers, and ultimately consumers. Each facility typically produces hundreds of thousands of animals on an annual basis. This has benefited the industry by combining costs and increasing profit margins (Barkema, Drabenstott, & Novack, 2001). All of this has resulted in an undeniable corporate control over the industry.

Corporations are not completely responsible for the rapid consolidation of the American meat industry. What would a corporation be without its consumers? These days, as consumers of food, most Americans are looking for fast, cheap, and easy. They spend less time in the kitchen and more time doing other things. As Michael Pollan discusses in his New York Times Magazine article “Out of the Kitchen, Onto the Couch”, there are several contributing factors to the decline of the home cooking. One of the main causes is the rise in women working outside of the home. Because of this, there is a need for more convenient sources of food. Food production companies have stepped up and filled the void, providing prepackaged meals and easy ways to bypass spending a lot of time in the kitchen. According to Pollan, the average American spends 27 minutes preparing food on a daily basis, a time that has halved in the last half a century (Pollan, 2009). They want cheap, easy, and uniform, and the processors can give it to them.

An interesting factor is the influence of the fast food industry. McDonald’s is one of the largest purchasers of ground beef, chicken, and pork in America (Kenner, 2008). In order to fulfill the demands of a cheap and efficient fast food market, they require uniformity and conformity in the size, quality, and quantity of meat. Fast food chains have shaped the way meat is produced, and have been a catalyst in the transformation of the meat industry over the last several decades as previously discussed. Back in the 1980s, the fast food industry, being built on cheap burgers, began to suffer as beef began being scrutinized for health reasons.

Between a Mad Cow disease scare and warnings about red meat and its effects on heart health, McDonalds and other fast food establishments needed to find another way to keep patrons happy. And so enters the rise in chicken consumption. In 1980, McDonald’s introduced Chicken McNuggets, a bite-sized, boneless chicken product that turned the fast food industry upside down (Roberts, 2008). Chicken used to be considered a luxury compared to beef and pork. And so there was a push to find a cheaper more efficient way to produce chicken. Chickens were already more efficient eaters than cows, but the small amount of meat they provided was somewhat of an obstacle. A chicken was developed that was not only twice as big but developed twice as fast as the traditional bird.

A 1984 article in the New York Times explains, “Agribusiness has managed to take the old barnyard, worm-eating animal and transform it into a wondrous fast-growing creation bred to live in a synthetic setting - lightbulbs for sun, fans for wind - and grow to slaughter weight in under 50 days” (Kleinfield, 1984). This modern bird cheapened production considerably, increasing company’s ability to turn a profit and the consumer’s access to it. As beef consumption fell, chicken consumption began to rise considerably, surpassing beef in number of pounds consumed per capita by the late 1980s (Barkema, Drabenstott, & Novack, 2001). Between the consumer demands and the desire of profit for corporations at the retail and processing level, the production of meat in America has grown to astronomical levels.

Until now, the benefits of the meat industry in America have been overwhelmingly apparent. As has already been discussed, consumers have access to lots of cheap meat and corporations are making a nice buck. Meat packing plants have an enormous effect on the local economies in which they are found. According to Drahenstott et al. in the article “Where Have All the Packing Plants Gone? The New Meat Geography in Rural America”, in 1999, one in every 16 manufacturing jobs in rural areas was a meat packing job. Not only that but it was growing at more than eight percent annually, nearly eight times the growth for all rural manufacturing industries (Drahenstott, Henry, & Mitchell, 1999). The plans also buy materials from the local community, thus putting money into the local economies. Consumers benefit quite a bit from the current system. According to Forbes.com, the average American spends 13.3% of their budget on food. Compared to what it was at the turn of the 20^th century, nearly 50%, it is miniscule (Holland & Ewalt, 2006). Without retailers, processors, and producers catering to a consumer’s desire for cheap food, a much larger percentage of budgets would be spent almost unnecessarily on food.

As economically beneficial and efficient the meat industry is, it is unsustainable in several different facets, and is especially damaging when it comes to the health of the environment, of individuals, and of society as a whole. Just over a century ago, Upton Sinclair shocked the world with his narrative The Jungle, exposing the horrors of the meat packing industry. Since then, many aspects of the meat industry have certainly improved, but now we’re facing much harsher consequences that even Sinclair couldn’t have predicted.

First, the meat industry is putting a large burden on the environment. The animals raised for slaughter have to eat and they inevitably produce waste. Most slaughterhouse bound animals these days are fed some form of corn. Seeing as it is cheap and available in large quantities and allows the animal to grow faster, it is fed to these animals, all of which were not naturally intended to eat corn (Pollan, In Defense of Food, 2008). Corn is a very input intensive crop, it requires fertilizer, pesticides, and irrigation to achieve maximum yield. Eating beef from a cow grown in a conventional corporate setting means one is not only eating the energy and fuel required to raise the cow, transport it to the processing plant and subsequently to the supermarket. One is also eating the energy and fuel required to grow the corn, process it, and transport it to the cow. Beyond energy considerations, pollution and land degradation are consequences of the factory farm system.

A United Nations report released in 2006, called Livestock’s Long Shadow, describes in over 400 pages how much of an effect the livestock sector has on this planet environmentally. This sector, globally, is responsible for 18% of greenhouse gas emissions, more than transportation. Feed production and pig and dairy operations together account for Minnesota’s largest source of agricultural carbon emissions. In the United States, the livestock sector is responsible for more than half of erosion, sediment loss, and antibiotic use and 37% of pesticide use. Farms and slaughterhouses deplete and pollute water. And the list goes on (Livestock, Environment and Development Initiative, 2006). Needless to say the meat industry is having a profoundly negative impact on the environment.

As far as damaging the health of individuals and society, the two are closely linked. Never before have Americans been so far removed from the sources of their food. Being this far removed means that there are a lot of added steps from the animal being born to appearing on the dinner table. These steps add more opportunity for health and safety risks. Antibiotics fed to animals to protect them in feedlots end up getting eaten by the consumer. And yet bacteria can still be introduced after the animal has been slaughtered, putting the consumer at risk, sometimes fatally. Food Inc. tells the story of a mother who’s two year old son died from E. coli that was present in his hamburger several years ago (Kenner, 2008). More recently, a young woman in Minnesota ingested E. coli through a store bought hamburger, was thrown into a coma, and eventually woke up paralyzed for life. After engaging in an investigation, The New York Times reported that infected burger was from a Cargill plant in Wisconsin. The meat itself had come from four different meat packing plants across America and Uraguay—none of whom had properly check for the bacteria before sending it on (Moss, 2009).

Not only should there be concern for the health of the animals before slaughter, but also for the health of the consumers. When something horrendous like this happens, and someone’s life is put on the line, it drastically affects the larger society. In the late 1980’s, during the Mad Cow disease scare, Oprah made an offhand comment on her talk show about not wanting to eat beef ever again. She was then taken to court by cattle ranchers in Texas under the Veggie Libel laws (these state that no one can say anything about a food product that may negatively affect the profit of the food company) (Kenner, 2008). Fear is contagious and can severely affect the mentality of society. The Mad Cow era also coincides with the rise in chicken consumption. Fear of beef only shifted the focus of the meat industry and contributed to the developing of the modern chicken.

Overall, the manner in which meat is produced in this country is not sustainable—it’s not healthy for the planet or consumers, and it cannot last forever. And yet this concept is no big secret. Countless books have been written about factory farming and more recently there have been a slew of publications indicating the flaws in the system, including Omnivore’s Dilemma, Food Inc., Fast Food Nation, etc. The battle of organic or not has been raging for years, and companies are learning how to market to what consumers think they want (labels with storybook farm pictures (Kenner, 2008)). This brings up a very important flaw in our society. Being a consumer driven industry, the meat is fulfilling demand and finding ways to turn the largest profits.

If asked, most consumers would verbally disagree with factory farms filled with genetically engineered creatures that are pumped with antibiotics, and brought to slaughter in less than humane ways. And yet the meat is still bought, it is still consumed, and the factory farm system persists. Consumers may feel boxed in, like there is no other options, or if there are they’re too expensive. But there are a few ways of acting that show that consumers care where their meat comes from, and this can cause the whole system to become more sustainable. On a slightly extreme level, one could choose not to eat meat. Alternatively, it is important to know where the meat on one’s plate comes from, how far it traveled to get to you, and what it was fed. Food animals that were raised on grass are healthier, and their meat is subsequently healthier than those fed on a corn diet (Pollan, In Defense of Food, 2008).

America started on a slippery slope more than a hundred years ago when the slaughterhouses described in The Jungle were built. The meat industry has slid a long way down this slope and will continue to do so until consumers take a stand. Meat production in America is unsustainable and is doing more damage that it is good for the environment and consumers’ health. The sooner it turns around the better, and the loudest voices come from the ones purchasing the meat.

Works Cited

Barkema, A., Drabenstott, M., & Novack, N. (2001). The New U.S. Meat Industry. Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City , 33-56.

Drahenstott, M., Henry, M., & Mitchell, K. (1999). Where Have All the Packing Plants Gone? The New Meat Geography in Rural America. Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City , 65-82.

Holland, L., & Ewalt, D. (2006, June 19). How Americans Make and Spend Their Money. Retrieved December 13, 2009, from Forbes: http://www.forbes.com/2006/07/19/spending-income-level_cx_lh_de_0719spending.html

Kenner, R. (Director). (2008). Food Inc. [Motion Picture].

Kleinfield, N. (1984, December 9). America Goes Chicken Crazy. New York Times .

Livestock, Environment and Development Initiative. (2006). Livestock's Long Shadow. Rome: United Nations.

Moss, M. (2009, October 3). E. Coli Path Shows Flaw in Beef Inspection. New York Times .

Pollan, M. (2008). In Defense of Food. London: Penguin Press.

Pollan, M. (2009, July 29). Out of the Kitchen, Onto the Couch. New York Times Magazine .

Roberts, P. (2008). The End of Food. New York: Houghton Mifflin Company.

a changing of seasons

It is now December, and as I type this there are snowflakes falling, whitewashing the world outside. But not only are seasons changing, but my dear companion Habbakuk is too. If you are reading this at all, you are probably aware that I have been caring for a caterpillar for the last couple of months. As is true in almost every aspect of life--time is flying, and growth is unstoppable. Over the weekend, Habakkuk became a full pupa. Here is a picture:

(sorry it's kinda blurry...)

Though acting similarly to a cocoon or chrysallis, it is not the same thing. We all grew up learning about the very hungry caterpillar and how he spins a cocoon and so on and so on. Most butterfly/moth species do that--spin silk or something around them, until they're nice and cozy on the inside. Tobacco hornworms, instead, become an archaic looking creature--a pupa. Basically, his outer skin has become skeletonized--hardened and darkened. This will protect him as he transforms into a moth. On the left is his head, that tube thing that you see curving down is what will become his moth mouth. On the right is his abdomen, and the muscles on the inside still work...so give him a squeeze and he twitches as if to say "excuse me, why are you touching me?". Actually, it's kind of creepy, because you wouldn't expect the thing to move. For the next 10 days or so, Habakkuk will be undergoing the ultimate life change. ALL of his cells are moving around, rearranging, and even changing completely. Nothing that went into the pupa will be the same coming out (personally, that sounds like an uncomfortable experience).

It's kind of amazing to me, the concept of change and transformation. Humans are often obnoxiously afraid of it. But one, by looking at nature, can see that change is inevitable and necessary for life to happen. We're always afraid of what "might be" or letting go of what already is, and so we have this aversion to change and to the future and so on. I, myself, am faced with a pretty humongous life change, seeing as I am graduating from college soon. I wonder what society would be like if we embraced the moving forward of time and accepted change as necessary and beautiful. Take Habakkuk as an example, if he didn't change from caterpillar to moth, he wouldn't be fulfilling his purpose--and wouldn't be able to continue more generations of caterpillar/moths. So as painful and scary as change may be, bring it on.

there's something to be said for sunday

There's something to be said for Sunday. For hot cups of coffee, plates of scrambled eggs, and the crinkle of the fat morsel of the Sunday New York Times. For waking up early to the muffled sounds of a world outside the door and choosing to avoid it for a little while. For knowing that there are no obligations today, just to float through peacefully in preparation for the week to begin tomorrow.

I woke up this morning to a sound that I was severely hoping to not hear again: a mouse scratching frantically inside the live trap it wandered into sometime last night. This is the third mouse, in less than twenty four hours, that has been relocated from my kitchen to greener pastures. After returning from releasing the little bugger to join its kin, I shuffled back up the sidewalk, grabbing the familiar blue plastic bag from my porch on my way in. The blue plastic bag loaded down with the weight of the world inside of it. Piles and piles of words are contained within it, describing the state of the world as it is on November 22, 2009. Or, at least, highlights and lowlights of the world as it is. First order of business before diving into my portal to the world at large, is COFFEE. While it brews, I take the time to shower, washing off the grime of yesterday and replacing my pajamas with similarly comfortable sweat pants. Once coffee is in the mug, I am back to bed, pages of newspaper spread around me. This is a Sunday morning.

I stand in solidarity with the other members of the Brown family. I know that 270 miles down the highway, the Sunday morning ritual is also occuring right now. The same elements are involved: coffee and New York Times. This is the way it has been in the Brown household for as long as I can remember learning how to read. Every Sunday I would be woken up to the sound of NPR on the radio (although, way back in the day it was Ravi Zacharias' sermons), the smell of coffee and scrambled eggs, and upon emerging from the cocoon of my bed, the sight of a kitchen table covered in newspaper. It used to be uneventful. My dad with the front page, me with the comics, my sister with a different book, and my brother still in bed. As we started to grow up, there would be a need for more pots of coffee and a peaceful strategy of newspaper distribution. Next week when I'm home for Thanksgiving, there will be a bartering of newspaper sections: "I call the front page!" "Trade you Week in Review for the Magazine?"--until we all have a section or two we can live with. There won't be much talking, just the absorption of tiny print into our already cluttered brains. Perhaps, there will be the occasional "huh" or "wow", but mostly just the rustling of paper against paper. Until then, I will stay in my bed with my coffee and paper and wallow in the glory of having it all to myself--knowing that the feeling is shared across the state border.

There is something to be said for Sunday.

Wormwood is back!

I always like to believe that the Browns, the ones who have descended from Ralph and Polly (my grandparents), are the cream of the crop. I often tell people, that I am growing up in the shadow of my rather (in)famous relatives. There is a lot to live up to in light of all of the accomplishments that have been tallied up thus far. I mean this in the most positive of ways; I am proud to be a Brown, and proud to have such a large shadow to rest under. Here are some examples of the shadow of which I speak: Grandma, father, uncles, sister, and cousins are all published authors, uncles own a publishing firm and are professors of different faculties, a Brown family legacy exists at Gordon Seminary, and my siblings and cousins are all up and coming scholars of various sorts. We have a very large tendency of making unforgettable imprints on the world wherever we may be.

This, of course, is all a build up of announcement of my Uncle Tom's newest book. The following is a synopsis/review/bio of the author. Enjoy!

P.S. I am shamelessly making a plug for you to buy it and support the Brown Legacy! More information and an opportunity to purchase the book can be found at www.wormwoodarchive.com

Times have changed, and so has the art of temptation.

What happens when a demon adopts the best in modern management techniques?

The Wormwood Archive records the temptation of an American church by a demon who has discovered the attraction of results based management, sophisticated marketing methods, and Performance Driven Worship. This book offers a sharp and witty critique of contemporary church growth strategies and their impact on local churches. Neither Church leaders driven by zeal and ambition nor their wounded and anger blinded opponents can escape from Wormwood's web of temptation or from Brown's scrutiny. The Wormwood Archive offers readers an accounting of the high price paid by churches that sacrifice their spiritual heritage at the altar of growth and calls both church leaders and their critics to repent, to reconcile and together to treasure their common spiritual roots.

What readers are saying:

The Wormwood Archive is a deeply revealing book about the mega-church movement, congregational conflict, and spiritual warfare. With ironic humor, startling insight, and penetrating analysis, T. G. Brown skillfully connects the dots to explain troubling trends in American evangelicalism: “Performance Driven Worship,” “Uniformity over Unity,” idolization of youth culture, abandonment of pastoral care, focus on appearance, “edgy” worship, and a pervasive entertainment motif. In the tradition of C. S. Lewis’s The Screwtape Letters, Wormwood examines the modern church from the perspective of a bureaucratic demon assigned to destroy a large community church. Full of delightful turns of phrase, Wormwood is a satirical, yet thoughtful and gentle, rebuke. Brown does not merely essay a masterful critique of the modern marketing methods and secular culture infiltrating American churches; he scripts a spiritual-psychological diary of how the consuming fires of our all-too-common church quarrels and worship wars are ultimately fanned by the Accuser and his underlings. Wormwoodis unusual in its refusal to (dare I say?) demonize anyone, its well-rounded and helpful anatomy of congregational conflict, and its ultimate call for repentance and reconciliation. --Nicholas DiFonzo, author of The Watercooler Effect: A Psychologist Explores the Extraordinary Power of Rumors

T.G. Brown teaches at the University of Rochester and holds degrees from Gordon College and the University of Rochester. Brown was born and spent his childhood in Pakistan where his parents were missionaries. Since 1981 he and his wife have lived in upstate New York where he enjoys teaching, preaching, canoeing and fly fishing. The Wormwood Archive is his first nonscientific publication.

A picture is worth too many of my words

After stealing *ahem* borrowing a camera, I have finally been able to visually document Habakkuk in his ever-growing state of being. Enjoy!

Above and below: Two weeks old.

You can sort of see the white stripes developing on his back. They are sort of blurred into one white line...



Above: Three weeks old. (Taken today)
The white stripes have become more distinct Vs running down his back! He's also about to molt (again). You can't see it very well, but his head (on the left) looks like it's going to pop off at any minute. Don't worry, it won't, but the outside layer of his body will!

An Ode to (the somewhat famous) Habakkuk.

Living the life of an optimist/idealist, is like living with one's head in the clouds. Always thinking of what could/should be, and entertaining endless hope of the world as a better place. We are often misunderstood by pessimists and realists, and are thought to be naive, innocent, and ridiculously upbeat. Point well taken. But there is something to be said for keeping one's head in the clouds, as it were. Optimists are not always cheerful or happy, and these are certainly not pre-existing requirements.

I am one of these such people. Optimistic. Idealistic. I believe in the good will of humankind and have an unfaltering hope for the world. And I am very cheerful most all of the time, which I have a feeling tweaks the auras of my realist counterparts. But this has been one of those weeks that the weight of the world has been increasingly present on my shoulders. This is probably caused by several of many different factors including: the sunday New York Times, my classes, exposure to many different worldviews, and my neverending quest to figure out how my experience in Africa affects the rest of my life in American society.

It doesn't take long for one living on this planet to know that things are MESSED UP. People suck sometimes, actually, most of the time. And that's that. You can't look at a newspaper without seeing words like BLOOD, VIOLENCE, DEATH, DISPUTE, FIGHT, etc. People take advantage of other people, they hurt other people, they oppress, victimize, and are just plain mean. Our world is riddled with injustice. One of my classes is called Citizens, Consumers, and Corporations. It is basically a should, could, would discussion about corporations and how they operate. Questions that have been raised run somewhere along the line of: Should corporations be ethically responsible? What are they allowed to have under their umbrella of ownership? Where should the line be drawn when it comes to harming the earth and people, and making a profit? Corporations do sucky things. They are mean and don't have a conscience. And in a capitalistic society, it's hard to agree on when money isn't as important as the negative consequences of someone's actions. And that's where there are problems. On a different note, every week in the sunday Times, there's some headline about violence and death in Pakistan. Afghanistan. Iraq. There's always something about someone not being treated fairly. Oppression. Suffering. Is there ever an end?

It has become very apparent to me, how desensitized we have become. How is it that we can read all of the suffering, watch it on tv, drive by it in our cities, and not want to cry out in anguish about how horrible the world is? Without being driven to action? Isn't that what the message, of our society is? That we can just skim over things like that and push them under the rug because a) someone else will take care of it, b) it's just the way it is and there's nothing we can REALLY do about it, or c) why worry about the rest of the world's problems when you have enough of your own? And it is true, that we can't take the problems of the world on our shoulders and try to fix them all. But I think that there's an issue when we can read about kid's dieing because they don't have enough water, and it doesn't make us sick to our stomachs.

There is a reason that I picked the name Habakkuk for my caterpillar (see previous post). Habakkuk is the name of a minor prophet in the Bible. He actually sounds like he was a pretty stellar guy and is definitely on my coffee list. His book is found between Nahum and Zephaniah, and is a mere three pages long. But if we're talking quality over quantity, this guy has it made. It opens with Habakkuk's complaint, short, sweet and to the point. He's questioning God saying, "Dude, where's the justice? I spend my whole life crying out to You to come save the world and do something about the violence and there's no response! Where the heck are you, God?!" (This is the Amy Paraphrase, but I personally don't think it's too far from what he's getting at...). So anyway, Habakkuk's pretty angry. He sees all this violence and wickedness, and he knows that God is God and He's just and all-powerful, and it just doesn't click. God is good, right? Violence and wickedness aren't, right? So God, what's the deal? But then God's response isn't all flowers and rainbows...He actually says, "So about that, I'm actually going to raise up Israel's worst enemy, and THEN you'll see what injustice is!" Talk about a discomforting response. Where is the love? It wouldn't do much for my mood, and it didn't for Habakkuk's. He comes back with a second complaint, and this one is riddled with emotion and powerful words--but still echoing the themes of his first. Here is this imperfect human guy, approaching the all-powerful God, and basically saying that the world that He created sucks. Habakkuk's got some guts. But the really cool thing is that God doesn't get angry. He doesn't smite the pest of a human that Habakkuk has become by raising all these complaints. In fact, God comes back with a lengthy speech about how the oppressors will be oppressed, plunderers will be plundered, and justice will be had when the time is right. In the end He sort of says, "I hear you, this place sucks, but it will be fixed when it's time for it to be fixed. Don't worry about it. I'm God, and I'm not going to leave you stranded." In the end, Habakkuk is slightly less angry, in fact he spends the last chapter praising God. The conclusion is as follows:

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior."

Everything sucks, but God is still God. This being the case, there is still something to be said for crying out against injustice. God cares, and so should we. God spends half the bible speaking out against injustice and oppression, and that's what we should be doing. I, for one, need to be more like Habakkuk, and speak up, lest someone take my silence to be apathy.

There may not be easy solutions to all the crap that happens in this world, but there won't be any solution until people start crying out to God and the world against injustice. I am still an optimist and idealist, and I probably always will be. I have hope for this world. Never fear, you realists out there, I am well aware of how hard it is to really, REALLY make a difference in this world. But that will never deter me from trying. Never.

And thus begins the life of Habakkuk

It is my pleasure to announce the newest addition to my household: Habakkuk, the caterpillar. Yes, indeed I did just say that a caterpillar has taken up residence in my house.

Why? would be a very good question at this point. And the answer is, for the pure joy of watching this life form develop and morph through the course of it's life cycle. I acquired him from the entomology lab at school, after a lab session where we had the opportunity to observe several stages of the life cycle of this particular species (egg all the way to moth). I am hoping to make some what of a photo journal of Habakkuk's life, which will only extend for 2 and a half months or so. But at this point he is a little too small to get an adequate picture for your viewing. So we'll just have to deal with words until a clear picture can be had.

Habakkuk is a Tobacco Hornworm, named for two very good reasons. He eats tobacco and has a horn on his back. People are really creative at naming things, I know. The species is Manduca Sexta, if you want to look it up. Here is a simple break down of Manduca's life cycle:

Eggs hatch out itty bitty caterpillars. We're talking no more than a few millimeters in width and maybe half a centimeter in length. The caterpillar, which is the larva of the adult moth, will remain as such for about a month and a half before it pupates. During this stage, it will molt (shed it's skin) about 4 times, causing 5 instars total (the final instar being about 4 inches long and a centimeter or more in diameter). An instar is basically a way of saying how many stages the larva goes through before becoming an adult insect. These five instars have one job only: to EAT. And eat they do. Constantly. Eat and poop. But hey, if you were growing at the rate that they do, you would too. We're talking increasing your body mass by 400 times in less than two months. That takes a lot of energy. What's crazy about it is that caterpillars are born with as many cells as they're ever going to have. That means that instead of having cells divide to make more body mass, their cells just get bigger and BIGGER. After the caterpillar reaches the fifth instar, it will make a little nest and pupate (turn into a cocoon). It takes about 2 weeks to turn caterpillar to moth, and when it does, the moth will be about 4 inches in wingspan, and GORGEOUS.

When I got Habakkuk on Thursday, he was pretty freshly out of the egg. Measuring in at less than a centimeter in length, he looked like a chunk of green angel hair pasta. Since then (~6 days ago), he has molted once, and grown significantly. He's pushing 2cms long, and definitely eats at least twice his body weight every day. These caterpillars are quite the brilliant shade of green, and as they grow, they get white stripes that look like a line of Vs down their backs. When Habakkuk hatched, he was green and pretty transparent. Now, his stripes are starting to form and he's more of an opaque green.

Call me a dork, but I get really excited to watch him every day. It's pretty amazing how this green stringy thing is alive and growing. For something that doesn't really have much of a brain, he knows what his purpose is: to eat and grow and turn into something beautiful. I can't wait to upload pictures because, this creature is UNBELIEVABLE. God was pretty darned creative when He put this world together.

Stay tuned for updates on Habakkuk's status!

All denial must eventully meet its demise

For the last few months I have been trying to avoid thinking about school. Going back to school, to be more precise. Denial was my main tactic, driving my mind away from any such thoughts, in hopes that the day may never come. Well it has certainly come...

Today was the first day back for me in the next leg of the seemingly endless journey through the American educational system: my fourth and hopefully final year of undergraduate studies. I went to bed last night, after spending the better part of the day unpacking and settling in my new abode, looking forward to a nice long stretch of uninterrupted sleep (one of my favored activities). The alarm was set for 8:00a.m. and my mind was set to experience the normal daily grind in the morning. Or so I thought. It seems as though my internal and external beings had some miscommunication in the night. You see, my internal being decided to wake the external somewhere around 6:30, much to the external being's despair. Having difficulty drifting off again, I decided to check Google Reader for the morning's headlines before prying myself from under the covers (oh the joys of home internet). I was welcomed by a myriad of headlines exclaiming the "controversy" of President Obama's School speech. Oh boy, what a way to start the day, reading about the nitpicky differences of opinion held by the extreme political views in our country (overall I think it is quite a ridiculous controversy). Needless to say, I had had enough and was out of bed and into the shower. Now, though my external body was not pleased at having been up at such an ungodly hour, my internal body very much appreciated the non-rushed shower, savory cup of coffee, and time of quiet before facing the bustling university world.

And so I was off. First day of school. The neighborhood I live in is home to many a young family and on my walk to campus, I passed some kids leaving their houses to wait for the bus. They were running around showing off new backpacks and parents were shouting out the front door, last minute instructions and encouragements. Their excitement energized me in passing, causing me to reflect on the days when the first day of school was one of the most anticipated events of the year. Not so much any more...

I then proceeded to the bus stop to greet an old and loyal friend: the Campus Connector. Every semester I spend a large proportion of my time riding this bus from St Paul to Minneapolis and vice versa. And in boarding the bus this morning I was not aware that it would bring with it one of the joys of being back at school: ignorant freshman. A hypocritical ageist I may be, but I just don't tolerate freshman very well (I'm pretty sure it's because I know how dorky I was back then...). And so it is very much to my joy and pleasure to see a bus load of Campus Connector virgins squirm in fear and anticipation as the driver hurtles down the road and honks at anyone in his way.

All of this to say that I survived the first day back. As busy as they may be, my classes seem doable (it's a good sign to get cookies in the first class!) and it is pretty great to be back in the ultimate people watching arena as well as having the Minnesota Daily back in production (for the crossword of course).

And to all of you students out there, I wish you a happy school year 2009. Let the games begin.

Coffee List according to Taylor Hill

Having asked for submissions to the Coffee List from other people...this is the list from Taylor Hill, engineer-in-training and a good friend:

Taylor's Coffee List:
C.S. Lewis
-Seriously, who wouldn't want to chat with this guy over coffee? He had one of the most active imaginations in the world, besides being a scholar, theologian, and general intellectual. Most of those types of people can't even make it through college.

James Dean
-An interesting and yet highly private individual, known for his dedication to his work, his inquisitive nature, and his volatile temperament. I imagine this would be an extremely interesting conversation.

Rob Bell
-He has a talent for expressing new and old ideas alike as fresh, simple, and profound. I expect it would translate well to conversation.

Yuko and Ananth from Johnny Wander
-They seem to have some wild and crazy adventures. Or daily life cleverly disguised as wild and crazy adventures with pen and ink.

Ray Bradbury
-I would like to have a huge round-table panel discussion with a number of dystopian fiction writers, but if I had to pick one, I'd pick Ray Bradbury. Or Vonnegut. Or Orson Scott Card. Dang it! Bradbury.

J.R.R. Tolkien
-I know, lots of writers on my list. But I picked most of the writers for reasons other than their writing, and I picked Tolkien solely because I can imagine no better person in the history of the world to discuss language with than, as far as anyone knows, the only man who ever created an entire working language (multiple, in fact), by himself.

Leonardo Da Vinci, David Kelley, Nikola Tesla, Thomas Edison, Alec Issigonis
-I made myself choose one dystopian fiction writer, but this coffee chat really needs to be a round-table between some of the most fertile and innovative minds in engineering and design. That is, if you could get Tesla and Edison in the same room, if you believe stories of their heated rivalry.

Dwight D. Eisenhower
-My favorite president based on some of his contributions to our country such as the Interstate Highway System and the American sister cities program.

Victor Hugo
Oscar Wilde
The "Mute Math" Guys
Bret and Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords

Coffee List Entry #1

Coffee List Entry #1: J.K. Rowling

Harry Potter has been one of my all time favorite book series since I was introduced to it in the Seventh Grade. It was right before the fourth book (Goblet of Fire) was released. I vividly remember one day in school when several of my friends were sitting around the lunch table animatedly discussing this Harry Potter guy. I, being almost completely ignorant of his existence, sheepishly asked who it was they were talking about. After recovering from the shock that one of their friends was not aware of Harry Potter's existence, the first three books were promptly shoved into my hands by the avid fans in front of me. And the rest is history. Some eight odd years later, I am reading the sixth book (Half-blood Prince) for the 3rd or 4th time. I have been to 4 midnight book releases as well as the first five midnight showings of the movies. Harry Potter has been a significant part of my life.

This is why I pick J.K. Rowling as one of my coffee list contestants.

When the books were coming out, I was very near in age to Harry. Harry grew up as I grew up. Provided his life was slightly more exciting than mine, there were things that were very relatable. Going to a new school, not knowing anyone, having to make friends, and deal with good and bad teachers alike. Just growing up in general and the new challenges life hands you. I wasn't fighting for my life against the ultimately evil wizard or anything, but you know... It also provided a common link in some friendships that I have to this day. We bonded over Harry Potter, speculating on what would happen in the next book, reminiscing over what happened in the last one, and trying to make sense of the plot and characters and how it all fits so nicely together.

I would like to talk to Ms. Rowling about where Harry came from. How did she first think of him? How long did it take to create the Wizarding world? Where did she get ideas for their banking system, schooling system, names, etc? How did Harry change her life? Does it reflect elements of her own life? Did she have an idea of what was going to happen in the seventh book when she was writing the earlier ones? What caused the series to get so dark near the end? What's it like having such a huge fan base and creating books that inspire children to read? How did she deal with the controversy of the books being about witchcraft? Where's her favorite place to eat? What's her favorite thing to do with her kids? When she was young did she always want to be an author? What was her family like growing up? Does she believe in God? If so (or not), did her theological beliefs affect the story of Harry?

And so many more.

Harry Potter has stimulated my imaginative and intellectual minds and had a great effect on my life. To meet the creator of this huge influence on my adolescence, would be unbelievable.

Introduction to the Coffee List

It's just an ordinary day. I get up, brush my teeth, get dressed, and head out for a run of the mill breakfast date. As I stumble down the stairs and into the parking lot of my apartment building, I'm thinking about the day ahead of me. I'm going over and over the questions I had previously thought of for the person I'm meeting with. On my way, I'm tapping the steering wheel to the beat of the music on the radio, trying desperately to stay calm and to not have a mental breakdown. I get out of my car, and ever so cooly enter the Dunn Bros coffee shop. I scan the room and my eyes finally fall on a table in the corner where J.K. Rowling is sitting...

No this has never really happened to me, but how I wish it would.

I am convinced that every person subconsciously holds a list in their mind of people that they want to meet. Famous people that is. Or not necessarily famous. Just people that you otherwise wouldn't ever have a chance of meeting, except in your wildest dreams. They are those people who you admire, hold in high regard, and wonder what happens inside their heads on a daily basis. Part of my list (in no real order) includes:

Jesus

Barack Obama

Rob Bell

C.S. Lewis

Rowan Atkinson

E.O. Wilson

etc. (this list continues with no end in sight...people are added on a daily basis)

It's the coffee list.

It's the list of people that you want to sit down with and over a cup of coffee (or tea or whatever), pick their brains about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. To find out everything about them, what their favorite color is, what they think of the world, and why they are the way they are.

It doesn't necessarily have to be people that you agree with or support. I would certainly add Hitler and Joseph Kony to my list, along with a number of other criminals or societal outcasts. I would want to talk to them and find out why they believe what they do, and so on.

There are no rules. They can be dead or alive. From any country or century. From any and all social, economic, geographic, or political arena. The setting is this: You and your person of choice at a coffee shop. That's it. You can ask anything. There are no boundaries. No security risks. No one else to get in the way (except maybe a translator). It can be a famous person, or that family member who died a few years ago.

Who's on your list and why?

What would you ask them?

to my adoring fans

If you have had any length of conversation with me in the last six months, you probably know that my life has been very wedding-centric this year. No no no, not my own wedding of course (perhaps some day, although after this year, I am more inclined to elope than ever...). Instead, weddings of dear friends and relatives have been consuming my being for several months now (We won't get into the fact that I am probably too young to know so many people getting married). And, in this conversation with me, it probably would have been mentioned that I have been more than just a spectator for all of these weddings. My titles have included: Personal Assistant to the Bride, Reception Hostess, Set-upper person, Day-of Coordinator, and The Cake Lady.

Upon mentioning that I had volunteered to make a wedding cake for my friends Matt and Damaris, the reaction most normally was "You do wedding cakes?!". And the response: "Uh...I do ONE wedding cake, and it hasn't been done yet, so...talk to me after it's been done."

Well, it's been done. And the answer is. Why, yes, I do wedding cakes. Yesterday was D-day for me. The wedding climax of my year, if you will. And after talking to a lot of people and getting a lot of comments on the cake, I would say that it was a smashing success. And that makes me smile.

Matt and Damaris were amazing to let me make the cake for them. Their attitude was very relaxed, they didn't really care about specifics other than making sure it tasted and looked good. With requirements like that, there wasn't much pressure which made it A LOT of fun. The cake itself was a lemon cake with raspberry in the middle and cream cheese frosting. The design was not the traditional tiered cake, but rather several smaller cakes arranged in an aesthetically pleasing manner. It was a design based on their invitations (I really like themes, and bringing things full circle...), but fairly simple. In the end it was beautiful and delicious, and I couldn't have been more excited or happy with it.

I will say that it is quite stressful making cake for 200 people. I had been so wrapped up in making it look good, that it wasn't until I had set them up on the table that I realized people would actually be eating the cake. My cake. That brought a new perspective to the whole thing. Luckily, the amazing ceremony and good company took my mind out of the hyper-ventilating state. And like I said, everyone seemed to like it.

For me, it's the baking and decorating that's the most fun, not the gratification of success. When I bake, I experience an inexplicable peace. Nothing in the world really matters, it's just me in the kitchen, and there's nothing else. All week people were asking me if I was panicking yet. And to be honest, I wasn't. Sure, the extravaganza wasn't completely stress-free, but there was no moment of complete melt-down (except for maybe that moment when we served the first piece, I haven't been that nervous since I got on a plane to fly to Senegal...). Few people interacted with me while I was frosting and decorating, which is probably good because it wasn't the prettiest sight in the world. There I was, in my grungy clothes, hair all askew, covered in frosting and cake crumbs, rocking out to The Fray and Mat Kearney, lost in my own little cake filled world. And having the time of my life.

Weddings are a big deal. So much so, that the people involved most often get so caught up in the details that it ends up being more of a stress-fest than a celebration. The fun gets overshadowed by the worrying and the anxiety. But what's the point if you're so stressed out that you spend all your time waiting for it to be over? I thought that's how I was going to feel about this cake. That it would be so much of a pain in the butt that I would just be wishing for the day to be over with. I was wrong. It's over now, and to be honest I'm kind of bummed. It was so much fun and I'm really glad that it turned out the way I wanted it to.

So thanks to the newly-wed Axelson's for letting me be a part of your celebration. It was an honor to be able to contribute to the fantastic party. Oh and thanks for taking the gamble and offering to be the recipients of my first wedding cake ever.

And thanks to everyone who helped build my confidence by supporting me through this. Having a tendency to self-doubt a lot, it was very nice to know that there were people who had faith in me.

(pictures coming soon.)

stunning contrast

In slight continuation of my post yesterday...

While hundreds of us were peacefully rallying at the Capitol building in St Paul this weekend, a stunningly different scene was unfolding in Minneapolis. Riots were breaking out in Dinkytown, not far from the U of MN campus in Minneapolis. Partying that had started Saturday morning around 9, had escalated to full blown riots by evening--street fires, tear gas, overturned cars, bottles flying, etc. Wow. 

Talk about contrast.

In both scenes, you have hundreds of students/young adults gathered under a unified purpose. And yet they were so far removed from each other. The riots of course made front page of the Minnesota Daily (our University newspaper), while the Invisible Children rally made the 3rd page. 

What were the riots really about? Students drinking too much and wanting to have "fun"? How does that impact the world, other than giving the University a slightly worse reputation? 

What if all of that energy had been put towards something that matters? What if those hundreds had joined our hundreds to make a thousand? Would the child soldiers have made front page news?

What if people actually thought about their actions and made an effort to impact the world positively instead of the alternative?

For more information about the riots visit www.mndaily.com

To see which cities are still waiting to be rescued for the Invisible Children rally visit www.invisiblechildren.com

kingdom stuff

This morning I woke up on the lawn of the Minnesota State Capitol (don't worry, I remember vividly how I got there). Curled up in my $12, 40 degree, camouflage, Target sleeping bag, I looked to see if my feet were still there, considering I had lost feeling in them hours before. I peeked my head out, and felt a cold sprinkling of raindrops falling from a gray morning sky. As I sat up, I groggily gazed upon many other sleeping lumps scattered about the grass. "Can we go now?" was the question posed to me by my two companions who had been "sleeping" on either side of me. Looking at my watch and seeing that it was just past 6:00 (surely the buses had to be running by now...), I responded in the positive and we swiftly removed ourselves from damp sleeping bags and blankets, packed up, and headed towards the bus stop.

So why is it that we were sleeping on the Capitol lawn?


We were joining with tens of thousands of people all over the world to raise a voice for abducted children in Uganda and the surrounding area in East Africa. In an attempt to continue a 23 year long war, rebel leader Joseph Kony is abducting children and turning them into soldiers for his army (the Lord's Resistance Army). Children are impressionable and easily influenced, which is exactly why they are the prime targets to be seized and taught the ways of violence, war, and terror. AK-47s are placed in the hands of kids as young as 6 and 7, and they are taught how to use them to the advantage of the LRA. If they don't do as they are told, they are threatened with torture, mutilation, and death. They are kept in place by seeing friends and family members killed or mutilated in front of them. Thousands of children have been abducted. Millions more live in utter fear wondering if they're next.

It's unbelievable and intolerable.

Who's going to rescue them?

Yesterday, I abducted myself along with hundreds of others in St Paul in order to save the abducted. The event was put on by Invisible Children (www.invisiblechildren.com), a non-profit devoted to raising awareness and money to bring an end to the war in Uganda and to free the invisible children. This event took place in 100 cities across the globe-tens of thousands of people pledging not to go home until they were rescued. In order for a city to be rescued, they have to get the media and a mogul to come and rescue them. By mogul, I mean and political or cultural leader, local or national. In St Paul, there were about 500 of us and we were rescued just before 9:00 last night! The Minnesota Daily, Star Tribune, and Channel 5 (KSTP) were our media rescuers, they all came out and covered the story. Our mogul was a representative of U.S. Sen. Amy Klobuchar, who arrived with a signed letter from Sen. Klobuchar pledging her support of the cause. Later on, as a State Representative House meeting adjourned in the Capitol building, several Reps stopped by to say a few words. They said things like how inspiring it was to see all the energy out on the lawn, and so many "young people" joined together for one cause. The atmosphere was overwhelming.

This is Kingdom stuff. Unifying our voices to speak out against injustice.

Even though we were "rescued", we were still encouraged to spend the night to "stand in solidarity with the child soldiers". Even though we were rescued, they haven't been. Even though we succeeded in making our presence known to the culture defining forces (media and moguls), the kids in Uganda are still being abducted.

Those of us who chose to stay, were choosing to sacrifice our comforts, our time, ourselves for one night. We didn't have to stay. We could have gone home. We could have said "Sweet, we got rescued...see you next time". But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the kids in Uganda don't have the choice. They can't choose to go back to their families, their homes, their lives. They give themselves a death sentence if they do. Every time I woke up last night feeling cold or sore or wet, I tried to tell myself "They don't have a choice, why should I?".

This is Kingdom stuff. Sacrificing time and comfort to try to relate to the experiences of brothers and sisters in less fortunate situations than our own.

Earlier in the evening, before we got rescued, a spontaneous prayer circle got started in the middle of the lawn. Invisible Children is not a "Christian Organization", nor was this event a "Christian" thing. Some event participants just decided to stand in a circle, hold hands and pray together. Before they knew it, the group had grown to more than a hundred people. The circle was so big that we could hardly hear prayers from people across the circle from us. Prayers were lifted to God for the child soldiers, for the Ugandan Government, for Joseph Kony, for the event itself, for God to move in us to make a difference, and for our voices to be heard. Even though we didn't know each other, we were joining together as one body, praying to one Lord.

This is Kingdom stuff. Unifying under the name of Christ, crying out to God for the end of unspeakable injustice and oppression, speaking up for those who can't speak for themselves.

It was worth it to wake up cold and wet in the middle of downtown St Paul this morning.
It was worth it to be a part of some serious Kingdom stuff.

Jesus encourages us to further the Kingdom of Heaven here on Earth.
And when we do, God works in incredible ways.

Let's keep it up,
for the child soldiers in Uganda,
for the victims of human trafficking,
for the starved and homeless,
for all the injustice that ravages the world we live in.

Let's experience the Kingdom.

age of not believing

Last night I was reading a story by Roald Dahl, one of my all time favorite authors. It was called "The Hitchhiker", one of his short stories, found in "The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar (and six more)". The story is about a man who is driving to London and stops to pick up a hitchhiker. After a conversation, the man realizes that the hitchhiker is being very cryptic about his line of work. Finally, it is revealed that the hitchhiker is a professional pickpocket (or as he calls it "fingersmith"). During the car ride, the pickpocket had stolen several things from the driver including one of his shoelaces.

It is a very simple and well written story, but I found myself trying to figure out how the pickpocket did it. I was envisioning the car, and the two men, and just how he might have feasibly reached down unnoticed and swiped the driver's shoelace.

If I were a young person, I would have accepted it as a cool and fantastical occurrence in a story. As an adult, I was trying to break it down and figure it out. Maybe somethings aren't meant to be figured out. Maybe we just need to let our imaginations go and take pleasure in small little fantastical things like fictional pickpockets stealing shoelaces...

Now that I have the opportunity to work a lot with kids, I've realized that when you grow up the world isn't as fun and magical as it was when you were a kid. I admire the imaginations of little ones and how they don't judge the world or get disillusioned by it. They dream big, nothing is impossible, and anything can be made fun. Why do adults always have to bring the world crashing down? Sometimes I wish I were back at the age of believing, the place in life where armchairs are turned into chariots and stuffed animals come alive to have tea parties. The place where unicorns pull cars to make them move, not engines. The place where magical bubble baths turn chores like washing dishes into fun. The place where books can be read over and over and over again and even though Amelia Bedelia will always screw something up, you're just as thrilled at the end when she bakes some thing delicious and turns everything around. The world is a sad, scary, depressing place when you're a disillusioned adult. We often forget the things that make this life beautiful like imagination, creativity, and just a little bit of silliness.

where is the Church?

The following has been my soapbox lately.

Where is The Church?

(When I say "the Church" with a capital 'C', I refer to the institution of the body of Christ, the group of believers that form the institution Church. I don't mean to talk about one specific congregation, building, or even denomination. I mean, everyone, together, on the whole, the institution.)

I am disappointed with the image that the Church (especially in America) has been portraying to the rest of the world, the non-Christ-following world. All I see is flashy worship bands, fancy coffee, and self-help Christianity. I see people going to church because the feel like they should, because they find some sort of self-fulfillment, or because they think it will solve all of their problems. I hear sermons about how Jesus can save YOU, YOU can go to heaven, and God can make YOU feel better. I see churches trying to cater to certain audiences, asking questions like "how do we get THIS group of people to come to church". I see churches care more about getting people in the door than making sure they feel like they belong once they're there. I see church leaders care more about the number of people in their sanctuaries on Sundays than who those people are. I see colorful graphics, flashy videos, and novel-length bulletins advertising this weeks offerings of "church" things to do. I see preachers take political sides and teach political views in their services. I see the Church conform to pop culture.

I don't see the Church care for people like it should. I don't see the Church rising up and dealing with social justice issues like it should. I don't see unity in the Church. I see disfunctionality and division. I see unending battles of politics. I see misused authority. I see individualism, not community. I see greed and selfishness. I see the Church getting so wrapped up in itself that it has lost the vision and purpose of its existence.

In the book of Acts, we are introduced to a group of 1st century believers. These were the people who were around before, during, and after the crucifixion/resurrection/ascension of Jesus Christ. The first couple chapters of Acts describes what life was like in that early Church. It says the believers "were together and had everything in common" (Acts 2:44). They shared everything, had fellowship together, took care of those in need, and served the Lord together. They were living in true community. They loved God and each other, and that's all that really mattered. Everything they did flowed out of that. People catered themselves (their beliefs, and ways of life) to the Church, not the other way around. I desire to experience that in the Church today. True community centered around the belief in Jesus Christ and following His teaching. But I'm just not seeing it.

According to the Barna Group, only 4% of Americans tithed in 2004. Four percent. Money is always a touchy subject in the Church. Churches don't want to have to beg for money, and people don't want to feel pressured to give money. But only 4%? The tithe is something that is found throughout the Old and New Testaments. It has been around forever (well, almost). The basic idea of the tithe is that you acknowledge that everything that you own belongs to God and thus you give Him the first cut. Back in the days of animal sacrifice and stuff, people were supposed to give up the best of their flocks or herds. Actually, if you read through Leviticus and Deuteronomy, there is a really elaborate system of tithing and sacrifice. Now by "giving" it to God, doesn't mean you burn it or something so that you don't have it anymore, it means that you give it to be used in some manner to further the Kingdom of God. Tithes in the Bible were used to take care of Church/Synagogue leaders, the poor, the widowed, and the orphans. The early Church made sure that everyone had enough of what they needed and that no one was left to suffer. Can you imagine the impact the Church could make today if it really used it's resources for the Glory of God? What if all believers tithed, and the Church used that money to further the Kingdom of God? Think of how many people wouldn't have to go hungry anymore, or how many people could be saved from slavery and human trafficking. What if that money used to buy that fancy schmancy projector had been used to buy groceries for that homeless family down the street?

I recently went to a church service, that quickly turned into a pro-life rally. Words were being used as weapons against President Obama and all who supported the right to choose. The pastor got very riled up and was shouting by the end in a very spirited argument for the rights of unborn children. "Amen"s were popping out in different places in the congregation. And I was sinking lower and lower into the pew. All I could think about was what would happen if they found out I was Liberal and had voted for Obama? I was envisioning being run out of the building and being condemned to a life of paganism. It wasn't a very good feeling. Nor was it a feeling I should have been getting from church. I will never step inside that building ever again, if I can help it. I was also thinking of my non-Christian friends who might at some point in their lives be faced with the decision of getting an abortion, and how they were being accused by this pastor of being potential murderers. That hurt too. Jesus did not preach politics. And neither should the Church. Sure, having opinions is fine, but how is the Church using them to further the Kingdom? Is it more Christ-like to lobby the government and protest abortion clinics or to love women into making the right decision? Jesus didn't condemn, so why should we? Why is the Church spending so much time fighting political battles, when they could be changing the world through love? What would happen if the Church stopped alienating and judging gays, lesbians, and women seeking abortions and started loving and trying to support them? When will the Church stop acting so much like Pharisees and more like Jesus? We say we follow Jesus, so why doesn't it look like we do? When will we stop being so self-involved and start being selfless?

I have been very critical up to this point, but like I said, this has been my soapbox. Now even though the Church has been disappointing, and I have lost faith in its ability to live up to its potential, that's not to say there aren't good things happening. I am extremely honored to have been born into a family of missionaries, people who have served and are serving the Lord all around the world. I have also been honored to have met (and been involved in) a great deal of other church and non-profit ministries around the country. Good things are happening. A lot of very admirable people are doing everything they can to further the Kingdom and share the love and grace of Jesus Christ. Most of these things happen under the radar, out of view of the public eye. But that's kind of how Jesus rolled. Countless times in the Gospels, Jesus tells people not to tell others about the miracles He performed or whatever. So I would like to acknowledge and applaud everything that believers are doing to serve God. But I can't help but question how much is actually being done when I hear about all the suffering that's going on in the world. Is it enough? Is what the Church doing enough? I don't think so. And I can only hope and pray that it will grow out of this self-help-individual-based Christianity phase and into a true-loving-community based Christianity.

When will we stop drawing lines and join together to rock this world for Jesus? The Church has so much potential to impact this sucky-hurting-suffering world in a supernatural way. Are we going to live up to that potential?

here i go again

Dear readers,

No you are not going crazy, yes, I did indeed start a new blog. Wow, I never really thought of myself as the "blogging" type, and yet here I am starting numero 3. I guess I just have a lot of thoughts that are in my head that need some sort of outlet. And as fate would have it, there are people in this world who enjoy reading things that I write.

Thus, I present you with "if amy ran the world."

I seem to be at an intersection of my life, where the world is kind of a confusing place. I find myself questioning the way things work, and questioning the world in general. Why are things the way they are? How can they be better? What's up with all the issues we have with social justice? Why is religion such a touchy subject? Why does the world suck sometimes? So here I am to provide an outflow of my thoughts about life and the world in general.

I do have some viewer discretion advisements:

1. What will be contained in this blog will most likely be MY OPINIONS about things. I am well aware that my opinions are not always very sound or correct, but they are mine, so I must own up to them. And please be aware that I do not mean to offend anyone with my words. We all have opinions and that is why the world is full of disagreements. But honestly, how boring would life be if we agreed all the time? That being said, I do welcome and respect others' opinions, and hope that you will likewise respect my opinions.

2. Between the influence of public school and my family, I have been taught to think critically. This means that I might be a little critical of things every now and then. If you know me at all, you know that I tend to be a very optimistic/idealistic person. This, however, does not mean that I don't have some qualms with the world in which we live. It just means that sometimes I don't completely acknowledge reality and would rather spend my time dreaming of how the world should/could be. So if I say things that sound like I have my head in the clouds, I probably do, so just leave me there for a while before you bring me crashing back down to the real world.

3. I love Jesus. That being said, a lot of how I view the world is from a religious/spiritual/"christian" perspective. A lot of what I think about on a daily basis has to do with God. Therefore, a safe assumption would be that a lot of what I write about will probably have a lot to do with God.

4. I don't really have issues with bringing up and discussing controversial issues. I would much rather spend my time engaging in conversations about the controversial than hiding from them. I am not afraid of heated discussions, and am happy to be able to voice my perspective any time. I do not believe that discussions of this nature are inherently hostile, and that they can be quite productive if the participants are themselves not hostile, but approach it with intelligence and good points.

Whew, now that I got those out of my system, you have been sufficiently forewarned of the content of this blog.

I hope you find interest in the things I have to say, but if not, that's cool. I'm just someone trying to figure out what I believe about this world, and feel the need to articulate it. If you've read down this far, I do appreciate your attention and truly hope that whatever I post on here will challenge you as much as it will have challenged me.

p.s. I very well may be jumping into the deep end by starting this blog, but hey, why not?