Ten Years

Ten years is a long time. Babies are born, trees get really big, kids grow up, grown-ups get married, cities evolve, friendships are formed and others dissolve, things change. And yet, we have an amazing propensity to remember those changes as we face them, and we file them away in the form of memories.

I remember August 19, 2001 like it was yesterday. I honestly can't believe that it's been a decade. I won't be able to tell you what the weather was like, or what I ate for lunch, or who I had a conversation with that afternoon. What I can tell you is that that night, my Mom's Dad passed away.

We were sitting in the living room, playing a card game. It was sometime after 9 pm, and my younger cousins were sound asleep in various rooms around the house. When the phone rang, I knew in my gut what it was. Grandpa is gone. Even though we knew to expect it, it still came as a blow. Shoes were gathered, kids carried groggily to the car, and we all piled in. I was sitting in the seat directly behind the driver's seat.

It's funny the details you remember from a day so long ago. I remember sitting in the car wondering why I wasn't crying yet. I even laughed about something ridiculous (and probably inappropriate), but then, laughing has always been my coping mechanism. I remember how it felt like the world had stopped, and that nothing mattered but getting to the Hospice. Then the tears finally came, and I remember wondering why they wouldn't stop.

We all crowded into a lounge type room, my family members, the pastor of our church, and some other people I can't place. My cousin was asleep on the couch and everyone was talking in low voices. And then one of my parents asked if I wanted to go see him. I followed them across the hall into the room that was so familiar due to the daily visits of the previous month. And there he was, but it wasn't him. I remember saying that. It was just a shell, Grandpa wasn't there anymore. I held his hand one last time and said my goodbyes.

It's so vivid in my mind, it could have happened yesterday. We still miss you Grandpa R, but we know that you are having the time of your life with Grandma right now.